My Bra...Posing as a Medieval Torture Device

I may have to face the fact that apparently I do not wear the same bra size as I did in high school.

About 6 years ago I went a little nutso and began going to Victoria secret on a regular basis. Each time I went I got a bra and three pairs of panties that matched that bra. I went probably once a week for a couple of months and if you go to Victoria Secret much you know this got to be a pretty expensive habit so I eventually quit. You would think I amassed an impressive collection but not really. What I had were about a zillion flesh-colored bras in the most comfortable style they had. All exactly alike. And yeah, I got about a zillion and one pairs of panties, again, all in the same HIPSTER style. I did venture out of my box and get a different color than NUDE on about every third one. I got a few whites and a black or two. I AM SO BOOOORRRRRRING. I am also obsessive compulsive and I tend to hoard. Or you could say when I find something I like - I really, really like it and I get at least 10.

Some examples: Birkenstocks - about 50 pair and counting
lip colored lipstick - I can't even began to count
Victoria Secret Hipter panties in nude - a zillion pairs
Doc Marten shoes, Lucky Jeans, John Frieda Ocean Waves....you get the picture

I don't know why I do this but I have this deep rooted fear that they will run out and I will never be able to get them again!

Anyway, I haven't had to buy anything of the underwear variety for years so really when you think about it my hoarding is really quite THRIFTY!

So, I finally wear out all my bras and they are all wrinkly on the cups and the straps are falling down and they look like hell. So I go to Victoria secret and buy two more bras (YES THEY ARE NUDE!!) SIZE 36B, the size I have always worn since I was like 14. In and out. Easy.

NOT SO FAST. Unless Victoria Secret has changed the formula something has gone horribly wrong!

These hurt, pinch, poke and squeeze. They are killing me and making me quite irritable and bitchy. And my boobs look HUMONGOUS. People are starting to notice. Every day I squeal into my driveway and remove my bra in one fell swoop.

So... could it be that I have put on a layer of fat around my already large rib cage?? Could it be that my boobies are growing at this late stage in my life....? Or could it be that in some kind of hostile takeover Victoria Secret changed the secret bra formula in a ruthless plan to rule the world?