Peeve of the Day....PHONINESS!

The picture on the right is of a guy I dated. (I swear it looks just like him.) I like to refer to him as the "BackYard Whacker". Oh, he was Mr. Suave. He showered me with gifts...sent flowers to my mother on my birthday...gave my son his bible...he wouldn't even say dammit. He would not sleep with me in the presence of our children because he "wanted to be a good role model". In short...he was the unequivocal winner of the PHONY OF THE YEAR AWARD. So shocking was it when I found out his true colors that to this day I question my own judgment. I wonder how I could have spent so much time with this quasi-person without seeing what he was. The filth I heard spewing out of his mouth astonishes me and makes my hair stand on end. It is however quite entertaining when mixed and set to music. (cd's are available for a nominal fee). I was completely and totally deceived by this person and so was my family.

BLEEEAAAACCCCK! I really, really hate that guy.

My mom recently found out that she was not only married to such an animal but had been for nine years. He turned out to be a liar, a cheater, an addict and a felon. We all knew he was dorky, weird, and had a bad dye job. We all knew he was a Yankee, a Democrat and a RightWingFundamentalistZealot, but still...we failed to realize the extent of his problems. I am officially awarding HIM the Second Runner Up to the Phony of the Year. There you go Skippy put THAT on your office wall.

I am amazed not only at the extent of the lies, but at the damn trouble these people go to to reconstruct themselves in the false image of goodness. Thousands of dollars have been spent and years have been wasted in their pursuit of being someone else. I just don't get it.

My thought for the day is... BE REAL. Also BE AWARE. The man* sleeping next to you may be spanking his monkey in your backyard or planning to cut you up and put you in the freezer. Listen carefully to that little tiny voice when it says "run like hell".


***disclaimer: to be politically correct, the rant above could also be applied to women although I find it unlikely that a woman would spank her monkey in the backyard. No discriminations are expressed or implied.