Big Nuts

You are not going to believe this but I swear on a stack of bibles
this is true....let me preface this story to say that we do not live in a tree house in Arkansas....we really live in a very nice house but we have been invaded....



Monday night I was hungry and I decided to make a Weight Watchers quesadilla in the microwave....I put it in, turned it on, and I heard a weird noise. It sounded like someone was pouring a bucket of sand or something. I called to Wes to come check it out. (Thank you Lord for my husband!) He looked around and saw what he thought were mouse droppings on top of the stove which is below the microwave/ventahood thingy. We got a stool to look closer in the microwave and I freaked out because there appeared to be mouse droppings IN the microwave too! Wes went to the garage and came back with a cordless drill and the vacuum cleaner. He started to take the vent thing apart that is connected to the microwave and peered inside. Very calmly, he turned to me and said "YOU NEED TO LEAVE THE ROOM."

I am freaking out by this point thinking there must be a dead mouse
stuck up inside the microwave.

Oh it was SO MUCH WORSE!!!


When Wes broke out the gloves and a plastic trash bag I really got concerned. He stuck his hand inside and pulled out a DEAD SQUIRREL. IT WAS PERFECTLY INTACT....FUZZY TAIL AND ALL.

Much screaming and freaking out and climbing on the dining table ensued!!!

I started to finally calm down when the squirrel was disposed of and I went outside to call my Mom while he went to the attic to try to find out how this happened. A few minutes later he yelled to me to come to the attic. I climbed the ladder with shaking legs....there inside a vent pipe was ANOTHER ONE AND THIS TIME IT WAS ALIVE!!!!

We talked briefly about shooting it. I felt that the only thing we could do was call 911 or animal control or something but Wes told me he had it under control. I decided to distance myself from the situation and supervise from a safe distance in the driveway. Wes climbed down and got a piece of chain link pipe and a long piece of speaker wire and made a squirrel catcher. (I swear I am not making this up!!!)

He reached in with his "catcher" slipped the noose around the squirrel's neck and I heard some squealing and rummaging around and then Wes emerged from the attic with the (now dead) squirrel in his little squirrel noose!!!

My husband is some kind of Bad Ass-Rambo wilderness man!! Seriously, he is my hero!!!

The microwave is broken, NOT that I would ever want to use it again.

You can see in the pictures the first squirrel had been there awhile. He didn't even stink or anything!! The second one was a bit "fresher".