How Do I Feel?

Everyone keeps asking me how I feel.

A bit pissed

A bit sorry for myself

A lot thankful that I am alive

Oh and there is that sore thing sticking out of my kidney.

Last night I took a shower which was quite an undertaking because I can't get the bandages wet. Wes has to do everything and I hate that for him. We just got married! Not only am I on "vaginal rest" but even if I wasn't...who would want to have sex with someone with a bag of pee on their back. Not only that, but he has to do everything. I can't really bend or lift anything. I feel sorry for him.

I also feel very thankful for him. He really loves me.

I feel weak and tired and my nose is stopped up. (unrelated). ha ha

I think it is ironic that I was all wrapped up in worrying about the hormone aspect of my surgery and now that is the furthest thing from my mind. I haven't even noticed if my hormones are messed up or not.

This is my mantra right now. "I am glad I am not on chemo. I am glad it is me and not Landry. I am glad I am alive. I am glad my face wasn't horribly disfigured in a car accident. I am glad I am not paralized." etc etc.

I know that is both morbid/dumb but it helps me to think of things that would feel worse to keep this in perspective.

Here is a picture of my new appendage so don't be shocked.

I guess I need to give it a name.