Anxiety Attack

I had an anxiety attack last night. I haven't had one for like 5 years. I am so mad. I have an anxiety disorder, and used to have them on almost a daily basis....but I thought I had it under control.

I don't really know what set it off...I can pinpoint a couple of things....it is um, that time of the month..., I am extra tired, stress over work and Paige, and Landry riding a 4 wheeler on a busy road at a friends house! Yeah, that upset me a little bit.

(Several years ago a little boy we knew was riding his motorcycle and went out across the road and was killed instantly when he was hit by a car. ) I was SO affected by this. I can't tell you what a profound impact it had on me. He was Landry's age and he had blonde hair and his nickname was Bear too.....it nearly sent me over the edge.

It was like my mind starts running away and all I get is horrible images of things that I can't even speak of. It is just over and over and I start to feel so afraid and my heart starts beating crazy and then I start crying and I feel like I can't breathe. It sucks.

Wes got inducted in the "LaRae is nutso" hall of fame without warning. There was no reason up until this point to explain the whole "I'm nutso" thing to him cause like I said I thought I had it under control. Poor Guy. Hopefully he is not home packing his suitcase to get away as fast as he can.

I am so tired and exhausted now. And I am worried that maybe my medicine isn't working like it used to. Sigh.